For Ellen

I was just stalking myself and saw that I never made a London post!  Obviously the time to make one is now, three months after my trip!  I'll make this short and sweet, I just need to document something London-related because it's been one of my favorite trips thus far.

The Basics:
WHO: Mallory, Ellen, Nicola, Julia, Tatiana and Maried
WHAT: Went to...
WHERE: London, England
WHEN: November 12-14
WHY: Because I wanted to, bitch.

What I did:
The original plan was to stalk out the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 world premiere (my not-so-secret agendas), but seeing as how I'm a responsible student and had educational obligations the night of the premiere, I decided to leave Bologna the morning after. 

It's true, what they say about London.  It really does have the worst weather ever.  Dreary, dreary, and just so goddamn dreary.  But when you're wearing new boots your feet aren't used to, in the cold and rain, everything sucks. 

I didn't get to meet the Queen or propose to Prince Harry, but I did visit Notting Hill, Madam Tousseaud's (where I promptly groped a wax Daniel Radcliffe), Buckingham Palace, Harrods, the London, Tower and Millennium Bridges,  St. Paul's Cathedral, the most important of which obviously being PLATFORM 9 and 3/4.  Obviously.

No, I didn't get to see Parliament (tear) or Big Ben.  A) I heard Big Ben isn't actually that big and I only give my time to things that are nominally accurate, and B) I just didn't have time.  I also didn't get the chance to ride on a double decker bus.

Nico and I spending some quality time with our pediatrician

When I say I was in London for the weekend, I really mean I was at Hogwarts

I also ate.  A lot.  More than I have probably any other weekend in my life.  And I live in Italy.  I didn't expect to eat so much because I thought, as is the general consensus, that English food was disgusting and bland.  Then again, I didn't really eat any inherently English food.  At one point, at the Notting Hill market, I had a falafel wrap in one hand and an assortment of seafood in my other hand.  So a meal for 3.  Later that weekend, I had Chipotle, McDonald's (what the fuck was I doing...), popcorn and candy at the movies (yeah, we went to the movies in London.  I regret that), and curry.  Didn't get to eat fish and chips, basically the only English thing worth eating.  I love stereotypes.

Me being a hipster artist and photographing hipster musicians

Notting Hill

Sounds like I need to go back to London!  Any takers?

My London Commentary:
-Living in an English-speaking country other than the United States would literally require me to learn a new language.  I struggled to understand most of the British English that I heard.  I know from my extensive stalking of English celebrities that accents vary greatly depending on where you're from in England, but I was truly disappointed with my incompetence.  Because of this I was too scared to try out my fake British accent, modeled after the one and only Hermione Granger.  In Madrid, I also could not understand the Irish people I eavesdropped on.  And sometimes I can't even understand the weird southerners from my own country.

-There were too many Starbucks (but really there's no such thing) and not enough garbage bins in which to throw away our Starbucks cups.  This is an important national issue.

-THE POUND.  The pound should die.  I thought I hated the euro but the pound is 100 times worse.  I say 100 because that's how many different coins there are: too many.  IT'S RIDICULOUS.  To this day, I keep finding random nugget pence coins hiding in my backpack and purse.  LEAVE ME BE!

YOUR EYES DO NOT FOOL YOU.  IT IS EXCESSIVE.

-The tube is amazing.  I just love metros.  None beat the Spanish metro, however, as it provides the most eye candy.  London's metro cards are called oysters though, and I just cannot accept that.

-I don't understand why the doors open backwards on cabs.

-This is Stefanie, our lovely London tour guide, one of Ellen's old friends from her first time abroad.  She was so so sweet, took us to all the hip places.  It was when we weren't with her that we were all lost and foreign.  Thanks, Stefanie!

Best Scot ever!

-I need that Look Left/Look Right thing to spread here in Bologna.  The streets literally tell you which way to look for incoming vehicles.  It's brilliant!  Unless you're dyslexic, then you should know better than to leave your home.  In Bologna, I always find myself looking the opposite direction down a one-way street, because I never remember which ones are one-way streets, because everything here is disorganized.  Then I feel cool because I remembered to look for potential danger, and then I'm offended when I get honked at by a Beemer going 100mph that came in from the other side.

-Platform 9 and 3/4 was everything I ever hoped it would be.  Except for the barrier was obviously closed, since I saw it around Thanksgiving.  Had I come a few weeks later, I might have seen the Weasley family stumble its way out of the magical world.  I would have promptly hidden in their car.

Tati, Nicola, Me, Julia and Ellen

-Took a tour of Old London (I think?  I don't know, I slept for the entire thing) organized through our hostel with a Canadian tour guide named Ben.  He looked like Zach Galifianakis and was very Canadian.  Hence why I slept the entire time.  Plus most of it was under cover of darkness and in the boring, rich financial district I'll never afford to live in.  Out of spite, I cannot force myself to think of it any longer.

THIS IS NOT LONDON BRIDGE. LONDON BRIDGE IS MUCH UGLIER.

This is Millenium Bridge, the bridge the dementors destroyed in Harry Potter and the
Half-Blood Prince.  Just a fun piece of important history for you all.

-I think it would be really funny if England won no golds at its Olympics they worked so hard to coordinate with their sex logo.  They'll claim they were just happy to host, but everyone always wants to win.  Everyone.  Especially athletes.  Everyone.

-Also in London, I took some of my most favoritest pictures ever:

 

Literally the bottom line:
I would live in London in a heartbeat.